Concert etiquette for kids: the rules and how to practice them

Concert etiquette is the set of habits that lets everyone in the hall hear the music. For a child, it comes down to six rules: arrive early, stay in your seat, keep quiet while the music plays, keep screens away, clap at the right time, and save questions for the breaks. Children follow rules they understand, so give the reason for each one and practice at home first.

The six rules, with reasons

1. Arrive early. Doors may close when the music starts, and latecomers wait outside until a break. Being early also gives time to find seats, look at the stage, and use the washroom.

2. Stay in your seat. The players can see the audience. Movement in the hall pulls their eyes and the eyes of the people around you.

3. Keep quiet while the music plays. Concert halls are built to carry sound. A whisper travels much farther than it does at home. The quiet parts of the music are part of the piece.

4. Keep screens away. A lit screen shines like a lamp in a dark hall. Turn phones off or to silent.

5. Clap at the right time. Clapping is how the audience says thank you.

6. Save questions for the breaks. Hold a thought until the clapping starts or until intermission. Then ask everything.

When to clap

When the concertmaster walks on. This is the leader of the violins, who comes out to tune the orchestra.

When the conductor walks on.

At the end of each whole piece. A long piece may have several parts with silences between them. The audience waits until the last part is over. The printed program lists the parts.

How to tell it is over. The conductor lowers both arms and turns to face the audience. If you are not sure, wait until others clap.

At a ballet or an opera, people also clap after a big dance or song. At a jazz concert, people clap after solos. Each kind of concert has its own habits.

Clapping between the parts of a symphony is a small thing. It happens at many concerts, and players have heard it before.

What else to know

Coughs and sneezes. They happen. Use an elbow, and try to save a cough for a loud part.

Snacks. Most halls do not allow food or drink at the seats. Eat before, or at intermission.

Wriggling. Feet stay off the seat in front. A small quiet toy in a pocket can help little hands.

Needing to leave. If a child must go, leave between pieces if you can. Sit near an aisle so it is easy.

Clothes. Wear something comfortable. Some families dress up to make the day feel special.

Practice at home: the living-room concert

Hold a pretend concert a few days before the real one.

1. Set chairs in a row and make tickets.
2. One person is the usher and shows the others to their seats.
3. Dim the lights. Play a short piece, three to five minutes long.
4. Everyone sits and listens, with no talking.
5. When the music ends, clap. Then talk about what you heard.

Do it again with a longer piece. Swap roles, so your child gets a turn as usher and as conductor.

Practice the clapping rule with a piece in several movements. Play two movements with a pause between, and wait for the real end. Symphony, concerto, and sonata explained covers what a movement is.

Choose the right concert

A first concert goes best when the concert fits the child.

Family and children’s concerts are short, often under an hour, and the mood is relaxed. Some have a host who talks to the audience.

Outdoor concerts let children move and whisper.

Relaxed performances keep some lights on and welcome noise and movement.

Daytime concerts suit children better than late evenings.

Ask the box office which concerts suit your child’s age.

If it goes wrong

A child may get restless, tired, or loud. Step out to the lobby, take a break, and try again after intermission or on another day. A short, happy visit is a better start than a long, tense one.

Praise what went well on the way home. Name it. “You sat so still during the slow part.”

Print and play

Bring the orchestra seating chart and find each group before the music starts. For the full plan for the day, read first orchestra concert with kids. To learn what the person at the front is doing, read what a conductor does. For a holiday outing, see taking kids to The Nutcracker.